The Stupid Man In My Life
by Confusion the Homunculus
Summary: Jade Was Always a bit different but working for the undertaker can't be easy in any way either. Her feelings become hard to hide as time passes and things get a little tricky mix in Ciel and the others and watch the sparks fly: OC X Undertaker
1. That Damn Man

**I don't own ****Kuroshitsuji I Swear!**

**Jade: Fuck you!**

**Under-taker: *chuckles* just hurry up and get this all done now**

**IGL :….. lets just start.**

_'It's so cold, snow is everywhere. It hurts to breath then I see him, the man in grey'_ "JADE!" the undertaker exclaimed and I jumped out of my nap. "Yes!...I'm awake" I said with half lidded eyes. "Oh you are hmm?..Then you wont mind making some deliveries today" he chuckled and I wanted to hit him so bad! "It's not my fault this counter is so damn comfy you old lunatic!" she complained. "Oh that was hurtful, now I took care of you when you were little and sick don't be rude now" he waved a finger at me. "Took care of! That's what you call working me like a dog to keep your shop in order!" I growled "Well you certainly act like one growling like a mutt" he laughed as if it was a joke. "Now go freshen up we mustn't have you running about the town looking like your homeless" he motioned to the stairs that led to my room. "What's your excuse?" I muttered walking off.

Getting to the room looking into the mirror and god I looked horrid! My short black spiky hair was messy and all over the place. I had to fix it usually the bangs fell over my right eye as always. The light that shown through the crack of the curtain made my white as snow skin look almost ghostly and my eyes the reason for my name the most perfect and deep shade of green jade. It took me some time to get dressed in some pants and a red shirt. Most women would wear dresses and fancy things such as but me I was fine with basics.

When I finally found my way down to the shop again he just pointed to a door and geez I wanted to yell at him for making me work all the time but I smiled a little I did owe him for saving my life when I was four. I was so sick too I remember lying in bed coughing so hard I thought my lungs would pop out, and there was blood to from how hard I was coughing. He made me soup sure it wasn't the best but it was nice for him to try and take care of me. Most would have just left me in the snow to die. "Anyone there?" he waved his hand in front of me and snapped me out of the thoughts. "Yeah sorry where are the flowers?" I asked and he shook his head with a small laugh. "No flowers today" and opened the door. There was a huge black coffin with a rope tied around it. "You need to take this to **'hounds well'** they said it's most important" I slammed my face into my hand "that's over twenty miles from here! Can't I take the horse?" he shook his head "now, now you're a big girl you can do it can't you?" he giggled looking at me "lets see it was thirteen years ago in two weeks wont it?" I nodded but I still couldn't remember why I was out there in the first place why I was laying there freezing to death slowly, or why I was there enduring it all.

**FLASHBACK**

I ran as fast as I could from something but I don't remember the blank spot still is in my head on this. There is a smell of iron in the air blood? Yes but from who? I don't have shoes the sting of the clod rushes through my feet and up my body. It hurts every time I breathe in like my lungs are freezing into icicles. The snow falling from the sky sticks to me like glue my eyelashes are covered making me need to wipe my eyes over and over again. I feel the need to scream but I'm scared of something. The trees are all around me the dark sky confuses me to no end. I trip on something and slide a few feet I feel a warm liquid dripping down my leg blood. I've distorted me knee when I fell and it hurt. "Ah!" a small weak hearted cry is all I can manage from all the pain I feel right now. I feel hot tears making their way from my face into the snow. My breath looks like smoke clouding my vision with each exhale. I feel my body numbing and I hear a voice in my head saying _'give up just give in and go to sleep'_ and feel it all taking over the cold hands of fate dragging me down into the dark waters of death. Just as I begin to give up I see something a blurred figure of a man in grey. "well, well what's this?" he kneels down and sliver hair follows "you don't want to die do you?" and I nod he picks me up and I feel warmth suddenly and that voice says _'safety now sleep'_ and the curtain of my eyes falls and dreams takes over.

I awoke I don't how much later but it was warm and comfortable when my eyes finally opened I was in a large bed with a sea of pillows and a huge fluffy blanket over me. It was soft and comforting like a mother's hug. I heard footstep and closed my eyes tightly pretending to sleep and the door opened with a soft _'swoosh'_ sound. The steps were rhythmic almost timed and in tone to a beat that was wired into the heart but no one could not hear but feel, like the beating of a heart. The rhythm of life, I was half tempted to jump up and see who the person was but I didn't I was scared that it would be a monster or someone that was going to hurt me. The steps stopped somewhere on the other side of the room and the voice came "I know you're awake sweetheart you don't have to fake it" there was a chuckle that followed making me rather uneasy. However I forced myself to sit up and open my eyes it took a moment for them to begin to see everything around me but it all started to take shape.

The man in grey now had a face his eyes mostly covered by his bangs and it was long very long past his shoulders. He knelt down next to the bed looking at me, he moved the bangs from over my eyes "My, my what pretty eyes you have what is your name hmm?" I shrugged "I don't remember" I whimpered looking back at him like a beaten dog. "Well until you remember I'll call you Jade how does that sound?" he asked and all I could do is nod is touch was oddly comforting and welcoming. I rested my head there for a moment closing them opening my eyes. Then it hit me I was alone my family (if I had any still can't recall) was dead and I was all alone. I couldn't hold anything back anymore and I cried deep hearted sobs. He stared for a moment not knowing what to do and wrapped his arms around me "Now don't cry it will all be fine trust me"

_'Trust me'_ those words still echo in my head as the tears suddenly come to s stop. So odd this man is yet I feel so oddly safe. The fire cracked and I finally noticed the fire place and the pot above the fire. "Ah it should be done now" he walked over to it letting go of me and I wanted to grab him and beg him not to let go as if he did I would be alone. Then I coughed and it was odd I didn't remember coughing before but my chest was sore like they were ripped or stabbed my no wounds were there, just pale skin that I have always remembered. "You're sick you poor thing but I have an old family recipe that will cure you right up" he walked over with a bowl for steaming liquid. I looked and it was a nasty purple color "I'm not sure I should eat th-" I was stopped but a coughing fit. "Just say aw" he instructed. What could I do? I opened my mouth and he put a spoon full of it in my mouth and I almost vomited.

"That is the most disgusting thing in the whole world!" I yelled wiping my tongue off on my shirt. He chuckled "well if you want to get better you need to drink it" he said with a soft sigh. I took a deep breath grabbing the bowl from him and swallowed it all in seconds trying to ignore the flavor. I heard him just laughing and looked at him "You only had to drink half" he said I stared at him for a good thirty seconds then managed to ask "What was in there?" he fell silent. I thought I had asked something wrong then he spoke "Well there is lizard blood, frog tail, mushroom roots, pig's feet, two week old bread, sheep entrails, goat eyes, bird's nest, four beetles, one wasp, and a rat" he smiled cheerful I dry heaved "I think the other half is coming up!" I shoved my head out the window and vomited luckily not on anyone. I felt the soft, warm hands pat my back until I stopped. When I did he pulled me in and held me gently wiping the bile from my lips "Feeling better now?" he asked looking down at me and I nodded.

He patted my head "You're a strong one I can tell just by how you fought from your life out there in the snow when I found you" I looked confused. _'I was fighting some one?'_ I thought to myself "I mean most would have just laid there and died but not you nope you hung on till I got you here safe and warm" he put me in the bed and covered my little body. That when I relived I was not wearing the outfit I had been wearing just a long shirt that fit me like a nightgown. "Did you dress me?" I asked and he shook his head "No I had a lady friend of mine do it for me" he looked at me with such a kind smile I just had to believe him.

"Now then you should rest so you don't get to sick" he said in a soft voice "But!" I protested "No buts its best if you rest you went through a lot tonight and you're still in a bit of shock by the looks of it" his tone was kind and not loud he sounded like he cared for me. Me the child he just randomly found lying in the middle of nowhere. He brought his face close to mine and I felt myself blush and my little heart race a bit. He smiled more and kissed my forehead and with that my eyes closed and I drifted off into sleep and into my dreams.

**End FlashBack**


	2. A Celebration to Remember

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its Characters please enjoy this Chapter is for more mature people.**

"Fuck!" I screamed as a loud crack was heard from my back. The rope was digging into my shoulder making burns rubbing back and forth over and over again. The skin had already become a sun burnt red and I had only gone about a mile and a half. "I'll make him pay for this, thinks he is sooo funny making me do all this crap and for what!" I began to complained to myself. Although I was pissed (like always) something about the fresh air made me a little (key word "little") happy to be out for once and not locked up in a dusty shop full of death. A Cart went by and the steady sound of the hooves was like a beating drum the people kept exclaiming "we're going on holiday" and it made my stomach twist. "God they are overly happy, lucky bastards get to ride to where they are going" I yanked the rope and the coffin inched forward a little. "Nope not me _'I love things the hard way'_" my eyes narrowed to someone in the cart jumping out to an old woman. The person had blonde hair and if it wasn't for the voice I would have thought it was a girl with the hair accessories.

Then they seemed to notice me and they all were staring at her "WHAT!" I yelled. I glared daggers at them and one man stepped out I knew him and every well Sebastian. He came up to me "What are you doing all the way out here?" he asked with a kind but serious tone. "Working the senile man wants me to take this all the way to hounds well" he nodded then said "Would you like some help it must be hard to pull that on your own, you must be tired" when he said that I finally noticed how tired I was, My muscles ached, the knuckles of my hands stung when I moved them and I was hot from the sun beating down on me like a working dog. In a small voice I just simply said "Yes thank you"

It didn't take long to get there after they had picked me up and surly I wasn't going to spend any more time than needed in the damn town. The people gave me the _**Heebee JeeBee's**_ they all seemed beaten down and brain washed.

_**Later At The Shop**_

I closed the door pressing my back to it with a deep sigh with closed eyes and thoughts danced in my head like ballerinas at the Nut Cracker. After a few long deep breaths I found myself opening my eyes to a soft glow of light. The Shop had a loving shadow of darkness wrapped around it all but the center of the room where a small cake was sitting on a coffin with seventeen little candles flickering. I slowly came to it and looked down the flames were dancing a dance of destruction and of chaos. If not for being a _'controlled'_ object most would have jumped at the moment to put them out. "Do you like it?" the raspy voice made me jump as I turned at a break neck speed. I placed my hand on my chest and sighed in relief "You scared the crap out of me" The undertaker stepped out from the hold of the shadows with a chuckle.

"What's with the cake?" I asked crossing my arms looking at the Stupid man that I spent my life with. "Well it's a celebration today is the day I met you" I loved how he said met and not "found" like I was a puppy or just some runt off the street. "My birthday isn't for another _**'two'**_ week" I sighed rubbing my eyes from a searing pain growing in my head like a balloon was inflating with in my brain. Okay the truth was we didn't know my "exact" birthday but we picked the day I got better which was two weeks after her found me. "And it's special to me" for a second I thought I heard him choke up and I felt my heart squeeze tightly in my chest like the rips were caving on the small fragile red organ. "I'm sorry I didn't realize let's celebrate okay?" I smiled and sat down on the floor looking at the cake more closely. Trying to escape the feeling in my gut the feeling of guilt the feeling of sadness creeping over and strangling my heart.

I felt his hand on my shoulder it was comforting and warm the same hand I remembered, that relaxed the scared and confused child from my memories. I smiled up at him and he gave me that creepy yet welcoming grin he wore all the time. "come on s-" I was interrupted with soft lips to mine and I felt my cheeks get hot turning red with a blush I was sure of this. When he pulled away my lips felt cold and oh how bad my urge was to grab his arms and bring him close and press those lips back to mine but I kept to myself.

He was looking at me his eyes were hidden under his bangs but I could feel them exploring my body with child-like joy. "My you have grown into a beautiful young woman" he breathed and I felt my cheeks getting hotter but I couldn't tell if it was from joy or pleasure. I snapped out of the restraints of the trance on me. "Well let's have some cake" I cut two pieces out of it. There was frosting on my figure and I licked it off, raspberry my favorite. I felt a smile appear on my face he never forgot anything. When I looked at him I could tell he wasn't looking me in the eyes but at the finger resting in my mouth on my tongue letting the frosting melt into a sugary liquid that I gladly consumed. I looked away and down at the candles I blew them out and darkness filled the room like water in a bowl.

At first it was hard to see a single thing but slowly my eyes adjusted and I could make out the outlines of the coffins and the undertaker's body. Slowly sin and lust took hold of me sinking it's claws in and claiming my body as its own. My eyes become half lidded and my body became a puppet it didn't even feel like I was moving more like watching a movie playing a slow-motion. Soon I had pulled him on top of me and was kissing him at first I was a bit embarrassed but then I felt his tongue pressing to my mouth demanding that I open. I obeyed without a second thought as if it was fully natural to me but it wasn't. I felt that warm hand running up under my shirt he was skilled it only took him moments to rip the bra from my chest setting my breasts free from the confining object. He knew what he was doing he began to play with my nipples making a soft cry escape my lips as pleasure ripped through my body as fast and as sharp and bullets. He grinned looking down at me breaking the deep kiss. "Sensitive are we?" before I could even answer the rhetorical question the undertaker leaned down and wrapped his lips around one and began to suck greedily at it.

I tilted my head back and moaned, breathing heavier my body was heating under his touch like fire. "Oh god" was all I was able to say I was just as helpless as (if not more) a child. within seconds of this intense new pleasure I noticed his hand had found it was into my panties, my pants were now around my ankles. I kicked them off with ease, but before my head could clear I felt a finger enter me, my back arched perfectly into him pressing my exposed chest to his. He grinned more and sped his movements and inserted another and another till there were four. How could anyone stand this? that's when I began to remove his outfit.

"Oh you can't wait anymore hmm?" the grin became wide almost like a smirk of success at how easily he could make me want him more that life it's self. I ran my fingers down his smooth chest I couldn't deny it I _did_ want it and there was nothing that was going to stop us now I knew that.

He got up pulling the fingers out of me and a sound echoed through the room then I realized it was me, I was whimpering from the loss of him and his touch. "shh don't cry we are just going to do this a more comfortable way" he picked up my limp body and laid me in a huge coffin I would have fought but I just wanted him so bad I didn't care where I was. Slowly the undertaker placed himself on top of me closing the lid and the darkness blanketed us in its embrace. After a moment of fussing he was ready and I felt him enter me I felt like screaming it was huge and it was now within me. I closed my eyes arching my back once more this time there was skin not cloth to my breasts. He kissed along my neck making me shiver here and there and he began to speed up. "ah" I heard my lips forming this sound over and over again as he hit a spot within that made me feel like I was in heaven. I could time his rhythm as he moved "in" and "out" then "in" and "out". The rhythm of our love and soon I moved myself into him making the please more intense and gave some to him as well.

Time felt as if it were frozen on this moment as he bit at my neck wrapping his arms around my currently fragile body. I heard a mumble outside the coffin but I ignored it later I found out it was "Did that coffin just moan?" at first we just acted like we had never heard a thing I mean why? we were enjoying this wanting it No craving the sweet agony of lust and pleasure called Sex!

However fate has a cruel twisted way of working. Just as we were both about to finish the lid of the coffin was opened making a blinding light from the sun enter slaughtering the comforting darkness that had protected us. Then we heard a man scream my eyes fixed onto him and slowly the blur came to have detail there was Bardroy. Before I could explain he had ran out I was blushing deeply wishing I could fade into that darkness from the night just moments ago when I felt the undertaker pull me back in and closed the coffin. The last of the darkness covered us "Let us finish before he returns with the _others_" he said and I nodded. It was like nothing I had or ever will feel, my first was to him and him alone. When we had finished he picked me up once more like an infant and took me to sleep in his bed with him and what I dreamt of could not have been sweeter than what had just happened to me.

_**To Be Continued **_

If you want to please review I'd like to make them better for all of you so you enjoy them more thank you ever much :)

CTH: Oh Jade I know your secret now

Jade: I swear to god if you tell anyone of this I will hurt you and you seem like a bleeder!

Undertaker: *pulls Jade away* now now be a lady

Jade: Don't tell me what to do

Ciel: Why wasn't I in this

CTH: -_- cus Let's face it no one cares about you 'ALL' the time so just stand there and be happy when you do show up...like the next chapter when I finish it hopefully soon :3 So until next time bye bye *waves*


	3. Say That Again

**I don't Own Kuroshitsuji or any of its Characters hope you enjoy this Chapter**

I woke up with my head throbbing like someone was stabbing my brain over and over again. Slowly the memory of the night before slipped over me. "It must have been a dream" I mumbled to myself in the groggy state I was in slowly sitting up I felt the cold to my body a shiver come over me. I looked myself over and blushed finding myself naked then I felt something pull me close and warm body was pressed to me. A soft kiss to my ear and then a whisper to me "Did you enjoy last night?" the Undertaker asked caressing my body with his free hand. I smiled seeing that it wasn't a dream then i felt the ach between my legs that sharp yet pleasing pain that screamed I was no long the pure child i once was but a woman that had passed through the gate of desire.

He softly bit my neck making me shiver in pleasure "God you love to tease don't you?" I breathed and he chuckled. "So what if I do?" he sighed looking me in the eyes. His hair was still messy but I couldn't tell if it was from sleeping or the sex. "You should take it easy you're going to be very sore today" he caressed my cheek lovingly. I nodded with a smile, he slipped out of the bed and began to dress I watched blushing he was so sexy on every way. The more I thought about it I slowly began to feel his touch from the night before.

I was ripped from my thought when I heard him speak "Here" he said holding out an outfit for me. "Thank you" I said taking it then I realized for once I wasn't yelling at him or arguing with him. "My God Sex Can Do Anything" I found myself saying then i heard him laugh. "Yes..yes it can" he patted my head "What am I? a dog?" I growled a little "I guess not everything" he winked at me then walked out of the room.

I came down the stairs in the pants and shirt he had given me. He was talking to The kid Ciel and his butler Sebastian who looked up at me and smiled with a wave. Seeing this both Ceil and the Undertaker looked at me. "Are you feeling better Jade?" The Undertaker asked me and I nodded. I saw Ciel tense up in anger "So this is the girl Bardroy came how screaming about" Ciel growled out at both of us. I watched closely at the two of them Sebastian seemed to have no care for what was happening at all. "I have no idea what you are talking about Young lord" I grinned hearing the Undertaker say that. I walked over to the huge coffin from the night before and sat on it watching the two go at it like wolves then I was joined but the Butler. "Forgive my young lord" Sebastian sighed rubbing his eyes then looked at me "Oh don't worry he is always like this if he isn't begging for something funny" I stretched then tensed up feeling a hand on my tight. I looked Sebastian's hand was resting there like it was nothing "umm your hand" I squeaked. Sebastian moved his hand away as fast as he could it still wasn't fast enough.

"Sebastian We are leaving" Ciel walked out and Sebastian followed. "Jade go get some candles I ordered them yesterday they should be ready" The Undertaker was washing it hands to prepare a body I left as soon as I could. I was heading back when something pulled me into an alley and slammed me into a wall. Sebastian was pressing his hands tightly on my shoulders. "What the fuck!" I hissed looking at him "It is of the most importance that I speak with you where no _'unworthy' _ears and eyes can snoop" he grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me "No " I pulled back and he covered my mouth there was a great blur of darkness the shadow I embraced into my life. I felt my eyes getting heavy with sleep and i couldn't fight it anymore I slipped off into my mind.

I woke up was it an hour or just a few moments? Is all I didn't know, my eyes opened half way I tried to stand but something kept me in place there was something cold around my neck. "your awake" I heard the voice say and my eyes snapped open I saw the chains that held me in place. then I focused on the man standing there. "Sebastian what the hell is going on?" he glared and me "I should be asking you the same" he walked up and knelt down before me grabbing my chin making me look him it the eyes "Why are you two here?" he looked me in the eyes "what do you mean you brought me here!" I screamed. he laughed "No I meant why are all these reapers doing here?" he growled yanking on my chin roughly. "reaper what are you talking about?" I glared at him.

"Don't play games with me or I'll make you regret it" he pulled harder and there was a cracking sound and I heard myself whimper a bit. "I swear I don't know what you are saying" he sighed standing up. "You fucking crazy asshole what are you talking about!" he shook his head "I didn't want it to come to this" he said I saw his claws glint in the little light there was, where ever we were.

_'shhk'_ the sharp pain ripped through me _'shhk' _the blood dripped down my body. _'shhk'_ my screams echoed through the room. I was panting trying to catch my breath the hot crimson liquid of my life made puddles around me. my hair stuck to my fore head my shirt (what was left of it) clung to my chest and back the blood acted as glue as it dried but it when I thought his was done. Another swipe of his claws would come across me. Another hit another scream or whimper another grin from him. "are you ready to tell me now?" he stared at me intensely. "I don't know what you are talking about" I whined in pain. "All I know is you kidnapped me and are asking me things I don't know" he growled "Tell me about the Undertaker" he hit me again but not a scream but more of a sigh. I was becoming numb to the pain.

"He saved me when I was little" he grinned more and began to laugh "It wasn't just chance what happened to happened" he put his face close to mine and then kissed me. my eyes widened and I struggled trying to get away but then I feel so weak and passed out.

I woke up in my bed covered in bandages the Undertaker was reading an anatomy book "Your awake hmm?" he said setting it down and coming up to me "what were you doing?" "It was  
>Sebastian he did this to me" I said. The undertaker sighed "Stay away from him Jade that all" he sat down on the bed. "But" he interrupted me "but nothing Jade just stay away from him I don't need you getting hurt again he comes here for things and when he does I want you to go to your room or leave just stay away from him" he kissed me forehead. That's when I knew next time I has the chance I would make Sebastian pay for this scream like he made me scream.<p>

**That's the end for now sorry this one was shorter I didn't have much planned for it .**

**but I'm thinking about adding a person to Chapter four if you want be in it send me a message and I'll see what I can do :)**

**Till next time Review if you want to thank you very much if you do and Thank You for Reading.**


	4. Sadness Falls Like Rain

**I don't own** **Kuroshitsuji or any of its Characters I take credit for Jade as a creation of my own. Cassy is a creation of ****Midori Ren** **a fellow writer and a very good one check out their stories as well, ****J**** thank you for your help and the permission to use your Character.**

It hurt to sit up let alone walk around just two days after is happened the Undertaker urged me to 'Take it Easy' but I wouldn't, no there was no way I was going let these simple wounds slow me down. Anger was fueling my speedy recovery and but now I was already setting up the shop and running about the town finishing jobs. I could tell the Undertaker was keeping an eye on my like a mother lion does to her young. If I so much as slipped he would force me to go lie down and rest. My Bandages however as much as I despised them I was pretty damn sure one of them was holding my kidneys in another my spleen and so one. To get to the point I looked like a mummy or a walking toilet paper roll.

However nothing could spoil this day my closest friend Cassy was coming to see me, I had met her when I was much younger about six or seven. I stared out the window in hopes of seeing a glint of her bright white as snow (yes I know that metaphor had been over used but for her it was true) or her forest leaf green eyes that made me feel normal when it came to mine. Yes they were not as deep as green as mine but they were so much more beautiful than mine could be. What I liked most about her was she didn't hide what she felt or thought. A very straight foreword women , speaks her mind and yes even when it comes to me. She said she had some great news and I couldn't wait to see her. How long had it been since I had spoken to her? a month? a Week? a few Days? To long honestly she was my only friend. The only person I could talk to (The wasn't that annoying old crazy Undertaker...but I love him) without feeling judged or hated.

As I began to fall asleep sitting in that window I heard the door open with a soft _'ding' _from the bell that had been placed above it so we know when people entered. I was too tired to get up when suddenly "SUPRISE!" I jumped so high I could swear I hit the ceiling. "What the hell Cassy? not funny!" I looked at her as she laughed then fixed her glasses. The Glasses didn't make her look geeky quite the other way she looked cute maybe even Sexy if I was a guy and not crushing on someone. "yeah, yeah get it all out" I said dusting off myself. There were cobwebs all over me what was is a spider get together on me? When I finished I looked at her and took a good look. "Well Shall we be off?" Cassy said wasting no time on _'our' _day.

I couldn't believe how much had changed with her family. Her older sister had gotten married and was about to have a child. Cassy's Father had opened a new shop on the other side of town. Things were going well for her. "So" she said flopping down on a extremely fluffy object she called a bed. "So what?" I responded sitting down and a down pour of pillows attacked me. She laughed at me like I _'was'_ trying to be crushed to death by the killed bed cushions.

"So tell me about the Undertaker" she winked at me with a soft nudge "What the fuck are you talking about?" said coughing a feather out of my lungs. "  
>I can tell <strong>You<strong> have the hot's from him" I swear I almost chocked on my own tongue. "No! No I swear nothing like that is going on with us" I exclaimed waving my hands about like the spaz I was around her. "Yeeeah sure and I'm the queen of England" she nudged me again. I wanted to slap her like a girl would her sister but I held it back for her. We fell back onto her bed talking, and gossiping like we were little girls once more with _"oh he's hot"_ and _"No way!"_ followed by loud giggles of pleasure from our secrets, and a world no one but us could enter our own paradise and freedom called Cassy's bedroom.

Something crept over my mind, the black haired butler that had spent hours cutting as my flesh. It was odd my mind had never lingered on this event until now and I had to force my mind to move onto something **ANYTHING** but that. "You okay?" Cassy asked looking at me her eyes always found ways to read me. Like once a boy had stolen my favorite stuffed bunny it was all creepy looking and I loved it. Then he ripped it up and she kicked his ass knowing it was him after looking at me for just a few moments. Cassy hands down was the most badass and best friends a _'outcast'_ girl like me could have (not to mention my only friend).

"Yeah just thinking" I forced a smile "sorry" I finished and she looked at me a moment longer like she was going to press me on the matter but dropped it. "God it's late" she looked at me with a big smile "Wanna stay the night?" she stared shaking my arm "Please!" when she finally stopped there were three of her blurry selves dancing around the solid looking one. What was a going to say I nodded and it was a done deal. The sun began to set and the town was blanketed by darkness, the glow of the lamps couldn't even wound it just listing the streets enough to see three steps in front of you. I smiled the darkness my life the one thing I knew would always be there as this planet turned bring unknowing days forward to me.

Thing went on the same the rest of the night until midnight. Cassy shook me awake violently and I jolted from my sleep with fear. "What is it!" I asked franticly Cassy was grinning down at me "Come on lets go for a Midnight walk" I smiled she knew me all too well these days. We threw on our jackets and were out the door as soon as possible without a sound.

The air was cool this I know because goose bumps were forming on my arms and I shivered gladly. Night held me in its grasp tenderly. Cassy was twirling around a street lamp humming with a smile. We were like two new born children intoxicated on the darkness the surrounded us filling our lungs and minds, more effectively than any drug. "I can see why you love the darkness so much" she said throwing her arms around me with a smile. "It gets better" I pointed up and her eyes followed to the blanker above and it's diamonds that sparkled brighter than anything. in the mist of them a disc that had such and eerie glow it made us both shiver. "We need to do this more" I nodded agreeing although I did this almost nightly on my own though I would never tell, I would let this be special to us for this moment I wasn't alone and I wasn't an orphan found in the snow left to die, I was Jade a friend of Cassy.

Time slipped through our fingers it was coming close to twilight and we had to get back soon. Cassy had to convince me to leave such a place the wonderland of darkness seemed to be a place only I wished to staying forever that when I remembered she preferred a world of light, of the sun, and of warmth so I smiled and nodded the darkness would have to wait another day for me to return to it. As we walked my vision became hazy and I could tell so had hers as she ran into me. We stopped till it cleared, the streets came into view once more however we were no longer on the same street but the other side of town "How did that happen we only took a few steps" Cassy exclaimed in confusion, expressing how I felt.

"Let's just start heading back okay?" I urged her feeling something wasn't right about all of this. I felt eyes watching our movements looking, searching for something. That's when I felt Cassy's warmth leave me I couldn't feel her anymore, When I looked she was gone "Cassy!" I looked all around. Fear stung my heart as is pounded against my rib cage to the point I was sure it would either burst of crack a rib it's self. I ran all over my legs wanted to give out and came close but I forced on until my body altogether gave up on me. while my soul and sprit violently pressed on. I heard it a chuckle of amusement I whirled around so fast the rest of the world was a burl to me.

The world melted away once again the bright white room stood around me and Sebastian, He was grinning at me "WHERE IS SHE!" I screamed and I felt my throat being cut up from it. Anger consumed me taking control. "Here" he said staring at me closely "Don't worry I haven't hurt her" he raised a bloodied white gloved hand up "Much" he chuckled. I lunged at him as he simple moved a side. "Leave her alone she has nothing to do with this you fucked up bastard!" I growled through clenched teeth. "You want her back that bad?" he asked in a teasing tone "Give her back!" I yelled. He smirked "As you wish". The world came back to me and Cassy was laying there curled, I ran to her "Cassy!" I pulled her onto my lap. I was overjoyed to see her when I felt it.

The warm liquid I looked over her. A huge gash was in her chest "no" I said as shock and pain hit me with a force. "J-jade" a faint voice called to me I met her eyes. Cassy placed a hand on my cheek. Tears stung at my eyes I felt my body begin to tremble, this had to be a nightmare that I would be shaken from but it never came. "Thank you, f-for not leaving me alone w-while I die" she whimpered in pain "NO!" I screamed "you won't die not here not now!" I began to cry. I pressed my hands over her wound trying to stop the bleeding and her blood pooled out and all over me and the street. "Shhh" she said as her hand slipped from me "Don't cry" Cassy said. "No! your all I have please don't go!" the tears flowed from my eyes. "Please I don't want to be alone anymore" Cassy smiled at me weakly. "You have the Undertaker" She replied I shook my head trying with all my might to stop the bleeding. "It's not the same! your my friend the only one" my voice was shaking just as my body. "I don't want to be this way, you helped me come out of this darkness and made me normal for once" Cassy tried to laugh but it came out more as a gurgle. That's when I realized her lungs were filling with blood as well.

"You were a-always normal just in your own way" Cassy was fighting to keep her eyes open "I'm so tired" she whimpered. "Just stay awake You'll be okay I promise just stay awake" I begged her. A woman came out from her house and ran to get help seeing Cassy's blood running down the street. "Please don't just keep your eyes open just a bit longer help will come" tears were blurring my vision. "J-just a moment of rest that's all Jade a-and besides I've lived my life" "Don't say that!" I cut her off feeling agony stab my heart "You're going to be fine and things will be okay I promise I won't let another person I care for disappear!" Cassy smiled fully the comforting one I remembered. "I-I think I understand why you love the night so much, I-it's so peaceful and beautiful" I nodded "Just focus on the stars okay help will be here" her eyes closed and I searched for her heartbeat but none came "No" I gasped "Please" I begged God, for the first time I needed to believe there was a God. "Give her back" I cried "GIVE HER BACK!" I screamed at this God that has stolen her form me just now. "Is this your game! take everyone a care about just to see me suffer?" I cried holding her close to me as her body became cold. I was trying to keep her warm as if she really was just sleeping.

The agony was killing me eating away at my heart, when the help did come they had to pry her away from me. It wasn't until they had all left that I felt it how alone I had just became. Her blood soaked my pants and shirt my hands stained with it, I couldn't save someone when it mattered I had become useless to someone that needed me. The only peace I could find was at lest the night took her into its loving hold and away from the suffering. I found some ungodly strength to stand and make it home. "Why Jade your home early" The undertaker said but his voice was nothing more but a whisper to me. I was sure he noticed the blood and my eyes because he didn't say anything more. When I entered my room the full effect hit me I feel to my knees unable to stand or even crawl to my bed and screamed "Why!" the tears were like the pain it's self, slow, warm, and never ending. Why had I been chosen to suffer, my heart felt as if it were shriveling into nothing, falling into a pit of darkness.

I collapsed fully on the floor whimpering and crying like a child that has lost its toy, but I had lost more. I lost a friend, no I lost a member of my family once again. that voice came to me _'this is what happens you let someone in your life and they are gone in moments'_ I screamed out weakly again, as my body became limp. I must have laid there for hours when the undertaker picked me up laying me in his bed just holding me as I cried. The tears didn't stop till my body forced it's self to sleep. That full week it rained and the Undertaker refused to prepare Cassy's body for the funeral.

**So Sad wow I can't believe I just wrote this sorry it took so long had a lot to do next chapter coming up. Please review and tell me what you think wanna make it better for you all. Thank you once again ****Midori Ren ****for letting me use your character, And thank you to everyone for reading :) hope to post the next Chapter soon**


	5. Stabbing Pain

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its Characters**

**Sorry it's taken me some time to post been super busy Hope You Enjoy**

Time had slipped by the last three days had been hell I mostly just laid in bed whimpering and crying. Cassy had died in my arms the I could still feel the warmth of her body as she spoke to me. Her words stung me harshly as I thought about it. _'__Please don't just keep your eyes open just a bit longer help will come'_ I hear my voice echoing in my head replaying over and over again looking for a mistake for some way that I could have saved her. It was killing me and I felt the burning hate growing deep within me as a demon was born that spoke to me_ 'That butler took her from you he must die' _I clenched my fist tightly gripping the sheets I want his death so bad and I can taste the bliss of watching him suffer but I let go knowing Cassy would hate it if I took revenge for her. Even her own death she would shake her head and be disappointed with me."Why couldn't I save you?" the tears came again I had become sick of my tears and pain "Why didn't I die instead of you?" the hardest part was telling her Parents what had become of their child.

_**Flash Back**_

"Why!" her mother screams falling to her knees , Cassy's father puts his arms around her as she cries. My heart feeling the squeezing of guilt "Who did this?" she asks me pleading me for the name of her killer with her eyes. "I don't know I lost her for a moment and then she was on the ground" I had to lie what proof could I have given, besides I wanted to deal with this myself if and when the time came. "I'm so sorry" her mother glares at me like I meant to insulted "You have **NO** Idea how I feel" I want to yell at her I want to correct her and show her she has not even been close to the grief I have felt within my soul screaming for freedom but I stay silent, and let guilt and pain hallow out my soul.

_**End Flash Back**_

My Body Tenses as the tears no longer come they have all fallen to the floor. Today I don't wear just a shirt and jeans. I am wearing a black dress, something I pray and hope I will never need to wear again for this occasion. We all stand around a wooden box the others hold umbrellas above their heads, not me it's raining for her the realm of light cries for her, grieves for her. The box begins to lower and I feel panic this is fully real now Cassy is truly dead now what am I to do now? I'm trembling I want to join her I'm a walking dead now. I'm unfeeling. Slowly reality slips farther and farther away from me, all I want is to go back and just have one more moment, one more smile from Cassy. The Undertaker squeezes my hand somehow for a moment I feel the warmth of his hand.

"Jade there was nothing you could have done" he whispers to me in an attempt to comfort me. I feel the guilt rise then Cassy's mom starts to cry and it forms once more, but stronger. "No I could have begged him to kill me and save her" I said coldly pushing his hand from mine and walking away to find my fate alone. Still nothing has changed truly, I'm still the same just I have no reason to be part of the realm of the sun anymore. I want night more now, to be its child once more I'll never stray from it again.

I laid in my bed watching time dance by as the sun set along with the clouds and the mother of the night sky begin to shine. I come down the stairs slowly one foot after another _'thump'_ till I come to the bottom _'thump'_. The shop is closed by now, I took a deep breath smelling the stale air, home this is my home but today it feels far from it more like a prison. I thought deeply on today's events standing there almost rooted to the floor. Soft, warm arms wrapped around me soothing my thoughts, hot breath was on my neck soon followed by lips. "what do you want?" I asked cold "I know this is hard for you" I th Undertaker said turning my body around and pressing me to his chest.

"It will get better I promise" Something in me snapped I couldn't hold it back anymore. I pushed myself from his "No you can't! You don't understand! You make a living from death!" I screamed was it anger? Or just a lashing out I needed to break free from sorrow's grasp I felt better extremely. "Jade" The Undertaker came closer, I felt another wave of anger come "No! Don't I don-" I was cut off by his lips to mine I felt the breath leave m lungs. as if he was stealing it from me. My eyes became half lidded and a blush on my cheeks formed. When it ended I took a deep breath filling my lungs once more. "Jade I just want you to be happy again" his voice was calm and soft. I felt my body beg for freedom as it screamed within me 'there must be more than just this hell' how I wanted to feel that and the Undertaker was the key to the freedom.

I feel to my knees before him with tears in my eyes, I saw worry fill his as i did so. "Let go away" I said with a cracked voice. "What?" he asked in confusion "Please let's leave this cursed town and go as far away as possible" I begged. He put his arms under mind and pulled me up holding me close to him. "Shhh" he said soothingly stroking my head calmly. "Jade" he whispered in my ear "Jade I know you want to get away from this Pain but it won't not for a while." he put two fingers under my chin making me look into his eyes. "The more pain you feel for her shows the more you loved and cared for her" he kissed my forehead. Then my cheeks followed by my lips, when he did this the pain melted away a bit. I reacted to this by putting my arms around him and kissing back. This was all I had left, this man that was always there for me and I was to blind to notice.

With a smooth motion he pulled me up holding me like a child. "Jade I promise it will all be okay" He said to me "Prove it" I growled back fighting back the anger and pain that lived within me now. With that he throw me down on the floor and was on top of me making out, and god how I missed those lips. I arched my back pressing myself into him more, as he opened my mouth and shoved his tongue in. He was being forceful but it was almost a turn on in the way he was doing it, He was pulling my shirt up and began to play with my breast when he pulled away. "see I told you" He chuckled and picked me up once more with a final kiss. Slowly we went up the stairs in silence, we laid together in his bed as he held me close to his chest. The Undertaker softly stroked my hair as he looked down at me, as I stared up with innocent child-like eyes. "Can it always be like this?" I squeaked out, he smiled and kissed my neck and whispered in my ear "For you, anything I would give you the world just say the word" and with that he kissed me deeply. that night I dreamed of him, and for a moment I thought I heard Cassy's voice say _'there it's all okay now'_

**That's it for this chapter I know it's short but the next chapter has I lost might take me a bit to get to it, Please Review if you have time Thank you. More on the way! Lots Of Love! Hope you all enjoyed have any idea's leave them in a review or PM me and I'll see what I can do.**


	6. BitterSweet

**I don't own kuroshitsuji or their character, Jade is my creation only My biggest insteration of this chapter was the song Rabbit in Your Headlight By UNKEL Great song =).**

I couldn't sleep, it has been getting harder and harder each night now. Night mares have been haunting me but the worse is they are the same, and every night I wake in the cold sweat shivering, while my heart pounder away at it's cage. As I feel screams bubble in my throat wanting to take flight into the sky. My solution, stop sleeping or at least try to sleep as less as possible. I sit in the bathroom; my ass is resting on the sink as I look through the cabinet that sits above it. I'm not really thinking I'm only trying to keep my hands busy, there is a bottle it's un-labeled. A few twists of the cap and it comes free, a smell fills the room, and I am reminded of a silver haired man the lays in a bed just a door away. I'm tempted to just crawl into the bed with him like a child to be held by him or anything.

I feel a dull pain twist as my stomach, it's hunger it around one in the morning the sun will start to peak in a few more hours. I need something to help keep the eyes open. I end up making coffee; the warm bitter liquid is welcoming and warms me from the inside. I look down into the dark water and see a woman staring back a shadow of a person I once knew, the old me maybe? Or just the new one that wants to take hold again. I have become a bit more alive over the months it's winter now, the kiss of the snow had littered the streets with it's white powder the makes me thing of sugar. I start to think of the Undertaker once more and I crack.

I need him, I need to feel his touch or I will be forever lot to this world; he is what has kept me clinging to life. I slowly lift up the sheets the cover him and crawl in pressing my head to his chest with a soft whimper the kind a wounded animal makes. There is movement then arms are put around and lips are pressed to the skin of my forehead. It calms me this is the drug I need to live; this is what keeps me going now. It will be Christmas in two weeks; trees are being sold all around along with toys and overly expensive dresses that no one will buy until after that the shop owners will take any price for them.

I inhale taking in the stale air and the scent of the man next to me. I feel a smile pull at my lips and I feel the beating of my heart, hot blood rush through me. I'm alive for a moment and I like it, this isn't the first time he has helped me live and he seems to enjoy saving me. He is like a knight in the fairy tales little girls read. I look up at him biting my lip to the point the tooth is digging into the soft flesh and I am sure it will bleed soon. I kiss him.

It a blur of passion from there, someone opens there mouth and our tongues intertwine. Pushing at one another fighting but for what? There is a moan it must be from me, it echoes in the room. His hands are playing with the sensitive area below my waist, as we grind together its rough and feels light something that had been locked away for all to long is finally free from its cage. The Undertaker bites my neck there is a gasp from me as he starts to suck and my outfit is removed and discarded on the floor. The rest of the night was full lust.

I awoke alone however and the Undertaker was gone. There was blood on the floor I turned hearing Sebastian's voice "hello Jade"

**I know it is short sorry but that's how is it I will start updating weekly after I move on the 12****th**** . things have been crazy I am also starting a yaoi with Pluto and a OC of mine I hope you read it and enjoy it like you have with Jade and Undertaker take a look tell me what you thing and give reviews so I can make is better for all of you.**


	7. Forgive Me

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or their character, Jade is my creation only, I hope you enjoy I'm glad I can finally get back to writing =)**

My senses are dulled, with blurred vision I can barely make out the grey room I lay in. I feel the cold wood to the skin of my back where my shirt has been pulled up from being dragged. The brain is groggy and a mess, I feel like I have been drugged or drunk but I haven't drank in such a long time and even that wasn't much. The room its self is hazy with smoke but not from fire, the smell is bitter and leaves a knot in my stomach. I've smelt this before but where I cannot recall.

I place the palm of my hand over my nose and mouth to prevent the smoke to affect me any farther but it's already making my green eyes water and form tears. I search for strength pushing myself up on the wall as pain chips and falls to my feet which are bare. One step after another I wobble like a toddler learning to walk, I must teach myself once more.

"U-Undertaker" I whimper and for once I feel a withdraw of him, like a drug that I _must_ have to live. I feel to my knees and pain strikes my nerves, making my gasp my eyes dilate for a brief second. I can't stay here I must get out of this place and found out what happened, I need to remember. Then something hit me, not only am I alone but I can't remember it's like the night of the snow, and now my heart starts to pound in its cage. "No" I gasp to myself "No! I won't let this happen again!" I scream holding my head in my hands, tears rush to my eyes like they belonged there all along. Something snaps in my and I slam my fists into the wood of the floor yelling words that aren't words at all just sounds that could be mistaken for speech.

Soon crimson paints my knuckles as the tears have stains a dark mark on the fabric of my pants. The newly formed cuts string like burns from a heat that isn't even there, maybe it is the heat of hell pulling at me to make me suffer. Yes if the Devil is watching he surly is laughing at the pain that has forced me to be this way, the way someone could just toy with me by giving me some joy then ripping it away in seconds, like a child and candy. "Fuck!" I scream to the point I feel my throat rips, this is the last bit of this feeling I have anger? No, sadness? No this is something that has been suppressed for far too long and has finally boiled over spilling out onto the floor.

I feel this cold feeling take over and I know I am truly alone, then I hear it that voice of the wicked. "Jade" his tone had a song to it and it makes me hiss as I look at Sebastian standing there at the end of the hall "What the fuck do you want!" usually I wouldn't be so bold but I have nothing to hold me back at the moment. All he does it laugh shaking his head taking steps to me and his makes it look easy, compared to my re-learning. His fingers trace the outline of the underside of my jaw before he lifts my pain forcing me to look him in the eyes. "There is a reason I brought you here" he grins as he speaks. "Welcome to your old home I think it's time you know what happened here" and with that things change around me. Sebastian is gone but the home look different it looks clean and _new_.

'_BOOM' _I hear a child laughing and I walk towards it slowly, until a door comes to view there is a smell of flowers roses is my best guess. Next to the door is a photo of a familiar stranger smiling it's me but a much younger me. Fear runs through me so fast it looks as though I have been shot but a bullet that wasn't there. The doorknob is simply an inch from me I could easily grab it and enter but something holds me back. Some kind of fear of knowing a happy me and the faces of the ones that I left behind in that house years ago. Somehow I enter their room where the younger me sits playing with a woman much older than I. _'Mama can I go play in the snow?'_ the little child asks as she nods, my stomach twists and I want to vomit. "No" I breathe out,

The woman nods _'but don't go too far from the house sweetheart' _and with that the copy leaves as I just stand there staring. This is before it all happened my eyes widen and I scream "Get out your in danger save yourself!" but she doesn't even glance at me this is only a recording of the hell that had haunted me in every waking moment of my life. Things shift like time and sped up to a new point. It must be night for the people in the house are asleep. That when it all starts, there is the sound of wood shattering like glass, followed but shuffling feet and finally a scream of the woman. I ran down the stairs to see Sebastian holding her by the neck in the air "You" I growl clenching my fists. He is my personal demon one that Satan gave to me and me alone to make me suffer and engage me to no end.

Then things become more twisted and he rapes her, she screams and cries I want to look away, to run but shock and fear glue me in place. _'Come now if you aren't good I'll just have my fun with at pretty little girl of yours how does that sound?'_ he says with a dark laugh. Soon he has a knife and the little child of me enters, he rips her to shreds as both of me watch in horror. He turns looking to the young Jade, _'Naughty little Alice isn't it passed your bed time?'_ he grins reaching out for the little me, but she runs out the door.

Alice, the name rattles my brain that is my true name before suffering granted me a new name, and things go silent soon my eyes go to the woman that lays there, my mother. Slowly I find away to rip free from where I stand. I fall to my knees wrapping my arms around her and it works I pull her close to my body as I begin to cry. "Can you forgive me for not being there for you?" I didn't want to see any of this but know I knew who deserved my wrath.

Sebastian what the reason for my pain from the start, But why? This was what confused me more, what had happened that made whim want to shatter my life and make it slip through my fingers? "AHHH!" I scream in anger and rage something I haven't felt so strong and concentrated before. I would find a way to get the answers I wanted and I would make him pay.

**That's it for now guys sorry, I hope you liked it I have some big plans coming up soon leave your reviews so I can make it better and feel free to send me a message cus if so I might ask for and OC of yours to star in an upcoming chapter Thank you for all your support and Love I hope to update soon. School is kicking my ass right now to bare with me it's hard to get writing time it. **


	8. Tears Can Be Dried

**I don't own any of this I swear! And I'm sorry it took sooo long to get this out finally got all settled in from my move and got my life all in order. So let's begin before Undertaker gets mad that I'm writing about him again _**

**Undertaker: Confusion! Where are you?**

**Me: Nooothing be there in a second! Hope you all enjoy!**

The night had taken its toll on both my body and mind, within me everything was starting to cave in. "You bastard!" I screamed as everything had begun to over flow into something dark, and then a voice in my mind spoke out.

'_Come on is that all you got?'_

"Who that hell is that?" I whirl around to try at see it.

'_You'll need to do much better than that if you wish to beat that demon'_

"I'll do more than beat him! I'll tear his eyes out and make his regret touching my family!" I hissed as the voice laughed darkly.

'_You are far too weak for someone like him, hell you barely know what you even are'_

"I know what I am!"

'_Then tell me'_

"I am Jade, and I will be the one to make Sebastian pay for his deeds"

I felt so dizzy as if my body had suddenly been drained of every last bit of it energy and that was when I noticed Sebastian sitting on the edge of my bed just as my legs gave out. He puts his arms around. A small growl comes from me but he doesn't seem to have any real evil upon his face and oddly his eyes hold sorrow.

"What….are you do-"

"Shhh, you're far too tired to do this now" his fingers run through my hair and a feeling of comfort sweeps over me.

"What's going on?" for a moment it seems he isn't going to answer and soon I wish he hadn't.

"You were supposed to be ours not hers" his words were soft and shaky almost. "And she took you away from me, then lied to you and taught you this kind of living" I can't move my body as it is like someone has such off all commands to my limbs.

"I….I don't understand" My words are breathed out.

"You are my child and she stole you from me that is why I had to kill her"

"And you were going to hurt me too, remember _play_ with Alice" He throws me into a wall and hisses loudly.

"Sometimes it is smart to go along with something's!" the back of his hand makes contact to my face. "I should have killed you that night, you eyes looked do beautiful full of horror and fear" harshly he took hold of my chin and made me look into his eyes. "Show it to me again"

I grin and let out a small laugh "Sorry, I can help you with that" he growls and brings his gloved hand up for another hit when he is suddenly thrown across the room. My eyes travel to behind him to see the long strands of white hair and I smile. The Undertaker comes up to me and picks me up. The same old shit eating grin upon his lips "Sorry little birdie but I have to take my shop girl back from your games"

Sebastian begins to say something but it sounds like one of those slowing down records and soon I realize that I'm fully blacking out. This makes me feel too weak and useless that I can't even keep myself awake from very long.

By the time I come to I am in a bed that feels familiar; at first as my eyes open I over look that fact that I am being held by Undertaker. Then I realize there is a warmth coming from a round my waits and it is him. "Welcome back to the living" he chuckles and presses his lips to mine lightly. I didn't notice I had missed his lips so much in the short time I had been away from him.

As I pull away cold caresses my bare skin "The hell!? Why am I naked!?" I look at him with a glare and he just smile for a moment.

"All your outfits were either dirt or torn up so I thought I would clean you up then let you rest"

"Really?"

"Really and I got a gift for you"

"And that is?" as all I am thinking '_Don't let it be soup'._

"This" his lips meet mine roughly as his climbs on top of me.

At first I have the urge to push him away but then I remember his touch isn't the same as Sebastian's. It's warm and he knows how to make my body squirm and ache under him. Which he proves within seconds as his fingers slip over my breasts for a moment and then trail down chest to the area between my legs. My lips part and a sound slips out that lightly echoes off the walls. "So cute" he whispers before he bites on my neck in a harsh manor but this pain oddly makes me want this more. I roll over suddenly so I am on top of him I reach up and move the bangs from over his eyes so our gazes meet.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Touch me, and make me feel this way" his hand comes to my cheek lovingly as he rubs my skin.

"Because I have this need and feeling for you in here" he takes my hand and places it over his heart. "Because I love you"

Those words truly make me weak, weaker than I have ever felt before. "I love you too" I press my lips to his and that might we become one once more.

**That's it for now hope you all liked it! Review and tell me what you think and I'll get to work on the next Chapter for all of you. Thank you very much for all the support, favorites, and followers. I love all of you!**

**Undertaker: And me?**

**Me: Of course I love you too! *Hugs him tightly***

**So yeah thank you guys! I do enjoy everything I've gotten from all of you. Feel free to messages me anytime I love to hear from you all and I have an old OC showing up in here again so yay!**


	9. Red Isn't Your Color

**I'm sooo sorry for being gone so long please forgive me everyone life has just been super crazy for me but I'm back so yay! Anyways onto the story I know, I know. I don't own any of this other than Jade. Hope you all enjoy!**

The next few weeks nothing truly happened. My physical wounds healed, I was able to suppress some of the pain within my heart, and I had found myself spending most of my free time being close to the Undertaker. Not like sex or anything like that (but don't get me wrong there was that too) but I meant we would spend time just laying together in a coffin just holding on another like there wasn't anything outside of this wooden box. Like the events that followed my birthday never happened and that my friend was still alive. He made me feel safe and sometimes even innocent when I knew damn well I was a sinner that should burn in the deepest parts of hell.

It was Tuesday if I recall correctly I was sitting on the counter spacing staring as a spider in the corner as it spun its web when I felt warmth near me. Looking towards it my face came just inches from The Undertaker. "Morning" he cooed pressing his body close to mine.

"Morning to you too" I said reaching lightly letting the tips of my fingers brush away the long grey strands of hair from his face. Moving my hand forward to where it cupped his cheek and out eyes meet. Even as a child I loved the color of his marvelous eyes their green-yellow color made me think of the magical beings from story books. It drove me crazy sometimes looking at him with these beautiful eyes hidden. They were perfect to me in some strange way possible because they were strange like me and it was comforting to know I wasn't the only stranger in a world of normality.

A smile came over his lips a real smile one that showed emotion and the kindness that I only knew about. "There are a few things I need to attend to today so you'll be on your own but after that it will be just you and me. Also I have a surprise for you"

I raised a brow looking at him now "Surprise?"

"Yes"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Maybe it's because you don't wish to admit that I am so perfect that I am a God among men" he teased.

"_Oh yes_ you are soo amazing that I worship the very ground you walk on" I say rolling my eyes with a laugh.

He presses close in between my legs and I gasp with a blush quickly his lips are to my ear and he whispers. "I must be a God considering I know so much about this body of yours" quickly his tongue flicks over my neck, however before I could even begin to try and respond The Undertaker walked out the door waving to me as he laughed.

I sigh slightly shaking my head unable to wipe away the smile on my face "What am I going to do with that man?" asking myself.

I'm not sure how long I sat there but it had to be at least an hour. It was then that I finally pulled myself away from the counter and stepped outside. Some fresh air might do me some good I thought. Spring was coming close but winter still was clinging to the land. Oddly though the cold didn't seem to bother me in the slightest. My green eyes traveled up to the grey sky above that threatened rain and I smiled again. One thing I loved was that rain. It made the Earth smell clean and pure. Also it caused people to empty the streets leaving them silent and calming.

"WHEEERE ARE YOU MY LOVE!?"' Someone screamed as suddenly a red blur slammed into my body causing both of us to tumble to the ground.

"The hell!?" I snapped sitting up quickly to be met by a long haired red-headed male.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? You ran into me!" There was a hiss to my words.

"Me? No you were just in the way of where I was going" he said sitting up and crossing his arms.

"And just where is it you are going hmm?"

"I was going to see that man in the black robe that works here"

"Y-You mean the Undertaker?" annoyance was heavy in my voice now.

"Ohh Yess~!" he purred.

"What do you need?"

"Hnn?"

"I work of him and live at the store so what do you need?"

"I need that kiss of life it what I need" we both stood at this point however he was swaying back a forth.

"Not happening"

"Oh? How do you know all I need to do is show off my perfect body" he said moving his hand over his own chest.

"Just leave" I felt an ache starting to slip over my brain.

"Why?"

"Because if you don't I'll punch you in the nose!" I yelled getting in his face "Who are you anyways!?"

"I'm Grell!" he huffed pushing me back a bit.

"Grell What kind of stupid name is that?"

A look came over his face showing he was offended "Well aren't you cruel"

"I never said I had good people skills now did I?"

"True, now where is that sexy man!?"

"Not here why don't you go look for him at the bottom of a lake or something" I said turning from him.

It was then that a sharp pain ripped through my gut and blood filled my mouth. I felt my body tense in shock in not know what had just happened. I looked down to see the end of a chainsaw sticking out from the center of my stomach. "W-What….What the hell?" I muttered falling forward onto the ground. The feeling of my heart racing to keep up with the massive blood lose was so powerful it could be felt even in the tip of my fingers. 'So..So this is death?" I thought to myself seeing my blood mixing with dirt and garbage that littered the street. No one seemed to notice what was going on but then again this street didn't have every many visitors.

I heard the male laughing like some grand joke had been told and all I could think of was Cassy. Had this been what death was like for her? This strange feeling of confusion mixed with pain and numbness. My vision was blurring now and coldness was sweeping over me so quickly I couldn't believe what was happening. Then there was nothing, I blacked out.

'_Jade'_

"Hm?"

'_Jaalice'_

Light flickers for a moment.

'_Alice!'_

My eyes open to the sting of light to see my mother leaning over me. She smiles and lightly touches my forehead "Oh Sweetie don't worry I promise the fever will go down soon okay?" I can't believe my eyes she is dead! I saw it I saw the memory so how this could be!? I blinked a few times and turned my head to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I'm a child at least ten years old, could everything from before just have been a fevered dream? Undertaker, Sebastian, the pain, blood, death. Was it all fake?

I shake my head as the room feels like it has been spinning. "I'll go make you some soup and tell your Father you're away okay?" how could I respond? I nodded quickly feeling my heart racing. The fuzzy memories of the past seemed to distant yet so real. What was the dream this or the others? My brain began to go into over drive trying to dissect everything around trying to make any sense of anything around me.

The door opened and I looked franticly I see the male's hand and the shape of his body. I'm desperate now to see his face to finalize the answer to this question that is starting to tear me apart. It is then that I awake.

I look up to see The Undertaker holding me. He is gently wiping blood away from my face and stomach that a large stitch now rests. "W-What happened?" I mutter looking to him. He kissed my forehead gently.

"You were attacked by a crazy person." He whispers. "But everything is okay now I promise" I realize I'm laying in his bed and I feel like a bother. Sure I was just stabbed but I hated this. I hated being hurt like a child and having no way of doing anything to repay him. The Undertaker must have noticed that pain in my eyes because he quickly crawled into bed and wrapped his arms lovingly around me. "It will all be okay" he was rocking me back and forth now. Something was off and as I looked upon his face I saw the tears falling from his eyes and those yellow-green hues were filled with sadness, pain, and fear. Little did I know what was about to happen so every soon to the both of us.

**CTH: Poor Undertaker let me hug you!**

**Undertaker: Did you really have to tell them about that?**

**CTH: Of course! If I didn't then it wouldn't have been as good.**

**Undertaker: Then I should tell them about you do-**

**CTH: *Covers his mouth* Look at the time! Thank you for reading every one please leave reviews so I can try and make the next chapter better!**


	10. Winter's Kiss

**Wooh another chapter! I don't own**** Kuroshitsuji or any of their characters.**** So I won't waste your time Enjoy!**

Pain is so familiar and yet it is such a strange thing at the same time. Why is it that the memories I recall so well are the ones of pain? The sweetness of all the other dreams, and moments of peace seem to be drowning in the moments of pain that spot the pages of my life.

I roll over feeling the pain once more as it commands me to lie upon my back but I ignore. The moments of hate and pain begin to fill my mind. Sebastian he is the cause of all this. Yet, all I can focus on it the events and people I have lost. My Mother, Father, Cassy. All of them gone in a matter of seconds and all I can do is lie here and think upon their memories.

Then the Undertaker slips in to my mind and sickening feeling rips through me. What if he is killed because of me? I could never forgive myself if he was to suffer at the hands of that demon, but how do I stop all of this? It is then that the idea hatches. My plan.

Closing my eyes I silently pray to a God I know nothing of or if he is even there. I can't say why I did this maybe it was to clam something deep within me but truly in the end I think it was just something to ease my conscious and justify what was to go into motion to stop Sebastian.

Pushing myself up I looked to the window. Winter had come and with it a blanket of snow coving all the dirt from sight. For a moment one might even think that it was a land of purity outside but sin can easily hide in the sweetest of places. A lot had happened in the month had been recovering. Looking to the ring upon my hand that signified I am too married was proof of this. I was happy—no I was overjoyed. Things were falling into place but nothing could be perfect until I ended this demon's wrath.

With pain rattling within me I somehow was able to dress myself and make it down the stairs. The Undertaker looked to me with worry but I only smiled "I'm going to take some fresh flowers to Cassy's grave today." For a moment disapproval flashed over his face but quickly he looked away with a nod.

It made me feel uneasy as if he knew what had been running through my head only moments ago. "Be safe" he whispered

"I promise" With a light kiss to his cheek I exited without hesitation.

The snow seemed to snuff out all the sounds of the world. It felt dead like this were the afterlife, but if it were than I would have all my loved ones.

The grave yard was even lonelier truly this place seemed more like a place for the dead to be forgotten than a place for their memories to be kept. Cassy's grave however was cold. The dead flowers that rested upon it were ones that had been placed on the day of her funeral. Everyone had already begun to forget her, but not me I wouldn't let that happen. Placing the new flowers down they became the only color around. The deep blue of the roses I had picked. It took forever to find someone that had this color of rose but they were her favorite and she deserved the very best.

"I'm sorry if only I could have protected you" tears begin to sting at me eyes as I fall to my knees. "But…But it's okay I'm going to make him pay or at the very least I'm going to make sure no one ever gets hurt by him again. I promise" Leaning forward I lay my head upon the stone as if it were her and maybe she would answer, but that's foolish. There was only silence and the coldness of the snow.

**I know, I know it's short but I was kind out of it the last few weeks with finals and all that crap. Sad news there will only be three more chapters sorry I promise I'll try to update sooner.**


	11. Fear & Kisses

**Hey Guys! So I know you guys are probably mad for me disappearing again, but it is partly because I'm rewriting this story (Fix all the errors) but also for it to be on Wattpad where I have more fanfictions (here is the link user/noxeris). (Not to mention I update there more often). Anyways! I don't own any of the characters.**

The last few weeks I had been feeling ill mornings were the worst as sometime I couldn't even keep food down. Most of the time I just drank water and acted like I didn't feel like my stomach was riding the waves of the ocean. I'm sure the Undertaker had noticed my sudden change but left me to my own devices.

For some time I considered to go seek medical attention for the sickness but thought nothing more that a little bug that would pass. Nothing that could strike me down, but sickness doesn't work this way.

I was late for the second time.

Fear filled me for two reasons, how was I going to tell him and what if Sebastian found out? There was no way I could carry a child care free with that monster lurking in the shadows wishing to tear everything from me. I glanced at myself in the mirror feeling myself falling into a bottomless pit. What could I do?

This wasn't part of my plan, then again who ever really planed for children? The only real comfort was knowing whose child it was. I smiled lightly placing my hand over the growing being feeling a bit relaxed suddenly. Still I would need to inform him soon and that caused my limbs to tremble.

'What if he rejects me?'

Thousands of clips play in my head of how he could react and most of them have cruel and sad endings. I lurch forward and vomit tasting bile as it sours my tongue. I need to get ahold of myself soon or I'll go insane.

I push myself up and wipe the waste from my lips and chin quickly leaving the small bathroom. I needed to do this now or risk something worse happening, risk losing the last few shreds of what I love.

When I come close to the front of the shop I stop feeling my courage suddenly fall short. The cowardly lion suddenly seeming like a war hero compared to me in this moment, but it is then when I feel his arms around me in that tight embrace that calms the shake of my body. "I thought you would never come out." he chuckled in my ear with heated breath. I dig my teeth into my bottom lip trying to find the words trying to think of anything to help him understand what it is that I am think, what is happening to me.

"I….I need to tell you something." the words come out hushed he leans in locking eyes with me.

"What is it?" he coos playfully before lightly placing a few kisses upon my neck my whole body presses into him partly from want and the other wanting comfort.

"I'm…..I'm….Pregnant." His lips stop still pressed to my skin as I can see his face moving trying to decide if this is a joke or if the words are the truth.

The silence start to press down on me and my heart starts to speed. I feel like there is no air in this room, I drowning I want to scream but I'm frozen in place as this ocean of nothingness consumes me. Madness will soon follow behind.

The Undertaker drops down to his knees I'm about to go down along with him when he pushes my shirt up exposing the flesh below. He smiled staring ahead then places kisses upon my stomach a few times then whispers against my skin "I hope it's a girl." then continues to give affection towards the unborn child.

**That's all for now guys, hope you enjoy. Please do check out my other writing page especially when this story shows up there. I'm planing to add a few things to some chapters after they get fixed, if not keep any eye out guys. Lots of Love!**


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